The Selfie Era
Today, many people refer to the idea of a “selfie culture” whereby we’re becoming increasingly narcissistic; wanting to show off to the world what we’re up to.
In American law, within marketing, there’s a term known as ‘puffery’ which allows companies to use a little creative license in terms of promoting just how good their product is going to make the end user feel. In this sense, much of American advertising is rather sensationalistic and over the top. Something other countries wouldn’t be allowed to get away with such Britain.
The reason this is being mentioned is that many people today use this same creative license “puffery” (think of a little fish puffing itself out to look bigger and better than it is.) within our lives. Particularly on social media.
In many ways, we’ve stopped living for the authentic experience of life and have all become self-promoters, showing the world that we are “living the dream.” Whether this is showing off their latest travel adventures or beautiful families. We are all aspirational creatures, but today, it seems we feel there is a need to build an image of having a wonderful life.
For this reason, we have never been more focused on how we look. Today, the idea of acne treatment for a teenager with spots, who is active on social media, feels akin to oxygen in terms of its importance. Somewhere along the way we have focused so much more on what we look like on the outside. That we have forgotten to appreciate that our value and true attraction is found within our hearts.
Therefore, in this article, we’re going to take a look at how to improve the attractiveness of yourself and your life, from the inside out, rather than in this conditioned superficial way so many people have become used to.
In a world where our image matters so much, due to the prevalence of dating apps such as Tinder where we are encouraged to swipe right or swipe left dependent solely on looks. We need to remember that it’s the way we show up to the world that is going to have the greatest effect in terms of our attraction to others.
It’s not how many countries we’ve visited, or how many fans you have on social media, it’s about who you are as a person and the three principles below will help you build some relational capital with the people you meet so that you will be perceived as attractive from the inside out.
It’s the same way you would achieve a healthier body and mind – from the inside out.
HAVE A POSITIVE IMPACT
When it comes to expressing your inner beauty, one of the best ways to express yourself, is to have a positive impact on others. Uplift them and make them feel good about themselves. The challenge, of course, is that you can’t do this unless you feel good about yourself first.
We all walk around in somewhat insular bubbles, where we meet people having their own experiences of life. That we don’t connect with. Almost, in the same way as to how in London you sit on the “tube” and people don’t look at each other. They become glazed over in a lifeless expression. Almost like “standby mode”.
Now, the recommendation is not to strike up a conversation on the tube, as this isn’t likely to go down well. However, to remember in your daily life, as you go about your business that everyone you meet is struggling with something. They have a problem, and whilst you aren’t there to help solve their problems that doesn’t mean you can’t have a positive impact.
For instance, imagine being at the checkout and the person at the till looks really bored, gloomy and sad. You don’t know what she’s going through and perhaps, it’s socially inappropriate to ask. However, if she really does look sad, you could always ask “is everything okay”. Now, she will probably brush it off and say yes. In fact, that very question will probably trigger her to get out of that state. You don’t know just how big an impact the fact you have taken an interest in her struggle might have.
For all you know, she could have been feeling so uncared about, neglected and worthless that she was contemplating suicide. Therefore in asking that one simple question, from a place of authentic care, even though the conversation didn’t go anywhere… it could make a big difference in the disconnected world we live in.
The benefits of smiling and laughter are many. Yet sometimes it can be hard to laugh when we are feeling down. That being said all it really comes down to is a shift in our own state. Which can come from something as simple as watching a funny clip on YouTube or thinking back to a fond memory you have.
We all feel “down” from time to time. The trick is not to stay in that place.
When you’re around someone that genuinely makes you belly-laugh. How do you feel? Alive, connected, happy, uplifted? You can have the same effect on others by simply being fun to be around. Have a laugh with people and stop taking everything so seriously. You’ll find you are expressing not only your inner beauty but the very best parts of yourself.
FOCUS ON GIVING RATHER THAN RECEIVING
Feeling attractive on the inside and expressing your inner beauty has a lot to do with how you treat others. It also comes down to how well you treat yourself. You must start to focus on giving to yourself rather than expecting to receive from others.
Yet, that’s somewhat at a tangent to this principle. Tony Robbins suggests the “secret to living is giving”, meaning the most alive and fulfilled a person can feel, is when they are in a state of giving to another.
When it comes to interacting with others, you want to try to be as kind as possible. Not just in terms of what you give “practically” or “financially” but with your energy and emotional presence.
Go out there and live the best you possible.xoxo